When you are in a relationship, it’s crucial to know how to resolve a relationship conflict in order to stay in said relationship.
Every adult relationship has its ups and downs. There isn’t a single relationship that’s just sunshine and rainbows. It is normal for humans to argue and bicker about stupid things that often lead to big fights.
What Causes Relationship Conflicts To Be Difficult To Resolve
Most fights are the result of miscommunication and pride-driven arguments. We let silly things get between ourselves and the people we love. We focus on small arguments instead of remembering the bigger picture which is the love we carry for each other.
One of the things humans do during a fight is “hear” instead of “listen”. We hear what the other person says but we don’t really listen to their words. We focus on the fight instead of what our partner is actually trying to say.
Furthermore, we tend to hide our needs and hope that our partner figures them out. We do not communicate enough and we rarely talk about our feelings. It’s ironic how we keep everything bottled inside yet wonder why the relationship isn’t working.
Most relationships don’t survive the first fight because both partners don’t say what they really want to say; they just hope that the other one figures it out and that unfortunately does nothing but kill the relationship.
Some couples thrive after they fight because they let it all out on the table and they truely listen to each other. They find out what their partner likes and hates and that makes them more attentive in the future.
I lost so many friends because of miscommunication, I believed that it wasn’t worth the trouble so instead of fighting, I fleed. Boy do I regret that now.
If you are reading this, you either want to know how to resolve a relationship conflict and need guidance or you are curious about how healthy relationships stay healthy. I got you covered.
How To Resolve A Relationship Conflict
1- Communicate:
One of the worst mistakes we make in our relationships is not talking. We rarely sit down and talk about what’s going on, about what’s hurting us. If we talked more, there will be less hate and more love between us.
Some people have trouble articulating their emotions due to the way they were raised or because of a deep-rooted trauma. It takes effort and patience to make this kind of people open up.
I once dated a person who didn’t do much talking when it came to their feelings. After I gave them a lot of time and space to open up nothing came out of it, and I walked away. I like to be open about my feelings and I deserve to be with someone who does the same.
2- Be honest:
For communication to be effective, you need to be honest. Lay it all out and be true to both your partner and yourself. Whether you had made a mistake in the past or if it’s about your feelings, you must be honest.
If you can’t be honest with your partner then maybe you don’t deserve to be in that relationship.
Also read: Feeling Stuck In A Toxic Relationship – How To Identify It And What To Do
3- Stay calm
Shouting is the fuel of fights. It does nothing good but makes both parties angrier. While you are talking, try to maintain a calm voice. If your partner is raising their voice, try to calm them down by being calm yourself and remember that shouting won’t get you anywhere.
4- Be respectful
Just because you are having an argument doesn’t mean you have the right to be disrespectful towards each other. No matter your history, you must be respectful if you want to get somewhere.
Unfortunately, some people choose to bring up your worse mistakes during a fight in order to diminish you and break you down. This is a cowardly way of winning fights and might result in ending the relationship altogether.
5- Know when to walk away
If your partner has anger issues and might resolve to violence, you must know when it’s time to walk away. Whether they throw a cup in anger or punch a hole in the wall.
Some fights are not worth having if they might end in violence. Also, you must know your worth and raise your expectations. If your partner punches a hole in the wall this time, they might punch you next. I’m not generalizing but it’s better to be safe than sorry.
Relationships are easy to maintain if you know how to. They only require a bit of logical thinking and a lot of hard work. If you truly love your partner, you must be willing to do the work. However, you must be both on the same page to make a relationship work. You cannot fight with someone who has already given up. That is nothing but a time waste.
Lately, we have been working really hard on ourselves. We are trying to be more in touch with our feelings. We are healing our trauma and doing the hard work. This effort won’t go in vain as it’s both healing and rewarding.
Also, check out: 9 Red Flags You Should Pay Attention To When You Meet Someone New.
We all deserve to be treated with the utmost respect. In staying with toxic people we disrespect ourselves and we damage our mental health. A person who only drains you mentally doesn’t deserve a place in your life.
We are on this earth for a very short while and we owe it to ourselves to have a happy life that is full of laughter and love.